Since You Ask
Sat., December 20, 09:39 AM
“A question…” Are you familiar with the Star Trek episode, “The City on the Edge of Forever”? The Gate comes alive when someone asks a question. I feel like that; a question will get me going, especially if I didn’t realize that someone didn’t know.
I’m not going to embarrass the lady who asked me, but I do thank her for the idea. Her questions are completely valid and sensible. I will answer them just as she asked them. And I assure you, I’m not offended. (When I’m offended, I’ll tell you so.)
Keep in mind, there are many degrees of Judaism even among those who call themselves Orthodox. It has a lot to do with where you live and what kind of community exists there. You can be Jewish without a synagogue, but you have a lot of trouble being Jewish if there aren’t a lot of Jewish people around you.
Question No. 1 – I thought Hanukkah was a minor holiday and why is there such a big deal being made about it now?
Hanukkah is a minor holiday, and it was still observed that way when I was a little girl. The important part of it was always the candles and, when I was old enough to understand it, the retelling of the story of the holiday. Several factors changed it into a big deal.
To begin with, it coincides with Christmas. It makes sense that the “Festival of Lights” takes place at the darkest time of the year. The leaders of any religion, rather than historical accuracy, choose the time for a holiday. It was expedient to choose a time when some kind of observance (like Winter Solstice) was already there, because it was easier to convince people to celebrate. (Another example: setting All Saints Day at the time that Druids celebrated ghosts.)
It isn’t easy to explain to children why the other kids get lots of presents and you don’t. The schools were always full of Christmas songs and craft projects and so forth. In addition, in the prosperous years after World War II, when the advertising was getting hot and heavy, parents wanted to give their kids everything they hadn’t had. I think I was in high school, though, before my mother actually decreed that we would have more than one present. And by that time, I was developing my own opinions of gift-giving.
Question No. 2 – Why is it that you rarely hear of Jewish children being placed into Foster Care? Does the Jewish Community take care of those things themselves?
I’m not as certain about now as about years gone by. I do know that the Jewish Home for Children in New Haven was a place for children to live if there was no family. It existed from the early 1920’s well into the 1940’s. My husband (the first baby there) lived at the home until he was in his early teens, but some children were there for only a year or two. They took in Jewish children whose families couldn’t care for them. Sometimes a parent had died, and the child stayed there till the surviving parent remarried. Sometimes the extended family would be able to take the child.
The Jewish Home for Children still exists as a part of Jewish Family Services, but it is no longer a building. Rather, it serves as a placement service for foster care and adoptions. My guess would be that a child wouldn’t be put into public foster care if there was family around who felt it was important that the child be brought up in the Jewish faith.
Question No. 3 – What if you don't live in a major city and there aren't any Kosher restaurants?
That one’s easy. You don’t go out to eat; you eat at home. You might go to a vegetarian restaurant, if there is one. Some people do stretch the rules. They keep kosher in their homes, but they’re willing to eat in restaurants. There was one kosher deli in our city when I was growing up. I didn’t learn how to act in a restaurant until I was an adult.
Question No. 4 – When at a grocery store deli, do Orthodox Jews purchase lunchmeat there? They also slice ham on the same slicer without cleaning it.
Some delis have signs that specify one slicer is to be used for kosher meat only. If the slicer is used for anything except kosher meat, then the “kosher” meat isn’t kosher either, though it may be “kosher style.” Kosher – which, incidentally, translates as “clean” – has numerous rules. Kosher restaurants and food vendors are routinely inspected by a rabbi to make sure all the rules are followed. Orthodox Jews would not purchase any food there. More conservative people might buy cheese or potato salad at that counter but not meat.
Keeping these rules is a matter of personal choice, and most people keep what is valid for them. My mother, who kept kosher all her life, often said that if she knew it was clean, she didn’t have to go through the obsolete practices that made it so. She never “kashered” a sink for Passover by heating a stone on the fire and then putting it into the water in the sink. As my mother said, if you have an efficient hot water heater, you don’t need a stone.
I think that, no matter what your religion is, you take what works for you and ignore the rest. Since Judaism doesn’t threaten to damn you forever if you break a rule, there’s lots of room for interpretation.
