Keys – Oh Hell!
Sat., August 16, 10:56 AM
With thanks to our friend, boxx, who must have been under the same cloud I was – despite being on the other side of the country.
I was talking about the power outage on Thursday. Strangely enough, I had premonitions all week, though I didn’t recognize them as such. I thought it was just one of those weird weeks – I’ve had them before.
For example, one of Husband’s schemes. Every so often he sees something advertised that he just has to have. We have learned to hide the Walgreen’s ad; he’s such a sucker for their junk come-ons. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch the Christmas Tree Shop ad. I know lots of people – like the purple chai love that store, and I can only hope that their stores aren’t like the one here. It is always so crowded with rude people that I can feel my blood pressure rising. The only good thing about Husband’s schemes is that he doesn’t demand to visit a store like that; on the other hand, someone has to go for him. They had cheap lighthouse lamps. (In the thirty-five years I’ve known him, I have used lighthouse stationery and stamps and stickers, and he never mentioned that he “loves lighthouses.”) And he wanted some kind of telephone/radio gadget they had.
It’s usually U.D.'s task to shop for him, but I went along for moral support as well as for the walk. It was not fun. And then, in the evening when he got up, he wanted help in setting stuff up. Find the user’s manual on the cheapest thing you own and read it; it will give you some idea of what a piece of junk this is. I found a proper-sized screwdriver and helped him open the thing and, of course, I provided the batteries, whereupon it began to broadcast the local annoying station and we couldn’t turn it off…
So Wednesday had its drawbacks. But Thursday morning…
Bosslawyer is on vacation this week and next, so we’re not really keeping the office open. We just monitor the mail and the phones; the young girl does Mondays and the old bag does Thursdays. I was the first one there Thursday morning. That is, the Otherlawyer had not yet unlocked the deadbolt, deactivated the alarm, and so forth. I could do that, except my key got caught in the deadbolt lock again, and this time I could not remove it.
I did everything else I was supposed to do, getting up every half hour to try the key again. Could not move it. I called the Otherlawyer’s home, intending to leave a message in case he went home before he came in. There was nothing written on his calendar, so I didn’t know where he was. And his son told me, he’s out of town for the rest of the week. Great. However, Mrs. Otherlawyer came over and got the key out. I told her I was not going to lock the upper lock, and I wasn’t going to set the alarm when I left. She agreed.
I stayed in the office until the mail came, and then decided to go home for lunch. I picked up my keys and walked out, locking the door – and realized that the office keys and my purse were still inside. I couldn’t go back in, but maybe I could phone Mrs. Otherlawyer from home… We have their number in the office, but it isn’t listed in the book. I’ve left voice mails and faxes, just in case someone comes in, but I am without my purse – and my cash, my credit cards, my license – until Monday.
I feel so incredibly stupid I can’t stand myself. Yeah, anyone can forget keys, but only I could do it when no one will be there for four days.
Since I couldn’t go back to work, I was home when the doctor called. My blood work was okay. Not perfect, but okay. But the x-rays? I need to call an orthopedist. No hurry though – my health insurance card is in the purse… It's all safe, of course; Mrs. Otherlawyer and I agreed on that.
