My Cousin D
Thu., June 5, 11:50 AM
I don’t know what started me thinking of D this morning. She’s one of my favorite people in the whole world, but we haven’t seen each other – and barely talked on the phone – in years.
The cousin relationship is tenuous; my cousin B married a widower with a child, so that D is a first-cousin-once-removed but without blood relationship. I say that makes her my friend. As it happens, B was my dad’s oldest niece, born when he was a kid, and she was closer to my mother’s age than to mine. So D and I are sort of the same generation.
When I first met them, D and R were really still kids, and I was in college. (How time flies – I just realized that R, the younger sister, turned fifty last month!) But D and I hit it off right away. Despite living on opposite ends of the country, we kept in touch and enjoyed the times we could spend together. Then I got married – and she got married – you know how it goes. Among other things, her husband is an observant Jew (D’s father was a cantor), and mine couldn’t care less. So our lives and that of our children have gone in different directions.
Last time I talked to D, she had made a career in the insurance industry. But she is a teacher by profession, and she is also a wonderful singer and comedian. I think she toyed with the idea of singing professionally, though she only sang at school or synagogue functions. Though she is trained for opera, she is very versatile. At my wedding, for example, she sang “Sunrise, Sunset,” which is Broadway music. For my sister, on the other hand, she sang “Turn Around, Look at Me,” a popular song with ties to country. I’m thrilled that her son seems to have inherited her musical talent, though he’s an architect.
One of my favorite memories of D’s singing was at my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. Our rabbi at that time was an open-minded man who arranged to have Daughter actually read from the Torah, an honor usually reserved for men. Naturally, I had arranged for other women to take part in the ritual, and it occurred to me that D was eligible for the lead honor, one that is traditionally given to a man who inherits the privilege. Her ancestry was the same, her dad had been eligible, why not her? Rabbi understood my logic, but hesitated until he spoke with the Ritual Committee; would the congregation accept it? They would. We explained that she had grown up in the synagogue, but I know he was still a little nervous. (We didn’t mention her musical training.)
At the appointed time, she came up to the altar, found her place, and produced what can only be described as a clarion call to worship. It was beautiful, it set the tone for the whole reading; but the best part was the look on the rabbi’s face!
The synagogue D attends now is ultra orthodox; the men and women conduct separate services. At the women’s service, D is the cantor, and the services are both lovely and cozy. We were there when D’s daughter became Bat Mitzvah. Y’know, with services like that I could almost go back.
Excuse me, I have to go off the subject. I figured out how to put a picture in yesterday’s entry. I’m so proud of myself, you have to go and look.
