Sister – a Chip Off the Old Block
Fri., December 13, 09:51 AM
My Sister will be okay; thank you all for your good wishes. When I talked to her last night, she had spent the whole day on the telephone – chasing down wrong numbers and people who didn’t call back – and managed to get herself discharged. She will be back home by noon today. There is a lot to be said for going through difficulties while you still have your wits about you and, of course, she was feeling a lot more cheerful.
This episode reminded me about a similar situation with my mother, about sixteen years ago. She was living about two hours from Sister and three hours from me, when she fell and broke her hip. Sister and I visited several rehabilitation facilities nearby and tried to persuade Mother to return to Connecticut, but she wasn’t having any of that. She chose a facility named Leisure Chateau. On a conference call, Sister and I discussed the advantages of Connecticut versus southern New Jersey. “We won’t be able to come down and help you,” we said. “I’ll handle it,” she snapped. Thank goodness we both heard her.
So Mother checked herself into Leisure Chateau, a process that was not to be taken lightly, because they required a month’s deposit, which was not refundable. And she absolutely hated it there. But they would not release her; they required a responsible person to sign her out. Sister was ill. The drive was beyond my capabilities. (I admit it, I am driving-challenged.) Brother lived in Boston.
Mother wanted help; unfortunately, we couldn’t help her. She had a friend phone me, saying that she wasn’t getting care. There was nothing I could do about it. Somehow mother managed to drag herself into a wheelchair and get out to the pay phone (there were no phones in the rooms). Sister told her we couldn’t do it, and reminded her that it was her choice. I wrote her a letter, explaining that not only were her children not able to help her, but her children-in-law were not obligated. What they did for her should be considered favors, not her due. (Boy, was she mad!) Finally, Brother arranged to fly down on a weekend, and Leisure Chateau would have someone available to check her out.
Brother had already arranged for Mother to have round-the-clock care at home, which may have been why Leisure Chateau finally allowed her to sign herself out. I’m sure she made herself very disagreeable until she got her way. Besides, if they let her go during the week, they wouldn’t have to pay anyone overtime to come in on a Saturday. But we’ll never understand how she got her “unrefundable” deposit back!
As I reminded Sister yesterday, it must run in the family.
