A Funny Phone Message
Fri., October 29, 11:15 AM
Do you remember my friend Gloria? The one who’s 79 – or 84 – depending on who she’s talking to? The one who is a virtual prisoner in her apartment because of her arthritis and emphysema, yet refuses to consider any kind of assisted living? She left a message on my answering machine the other day.
She is sure that taking care of Husband is too much for me, that it will keep me from getting better, and that I just can’t do it. So I really should just put him into a home now.
Does she know how funny she sounds?
To begin with, let’s consider Husband’s condition. His lungs are bad, and he can’t walk from the bedroom to the kitchen without huffing and puffing. He may improve, but not much, because he doesn’t care to try. He has some cardiac issues that are controlled with medication. He is a little deaf – plays radio and TV with the volume up – but usually manages to hear with he wants to hear.
He does not have arthritis, diabetes, or Alzheimer's. All things considered, I’d say he’s in better shape than she is.
How about help? I’ve had a visiting nurse to visit him regularly, a nurse’s aide to help him bathe and dress, therapists to give him exercises to increase his strength. Of course, Medicare won’t pay for this forever if he’s not trying to improve. On the other hand, I’ve availed myself of the same kind of community resources I’ve suggested to her; she’s not interested.
I also have the help of my children. I try not to tell people without kids that they don’t understand, because they think I’m trying to be hurtful. But one of the things they don’t understand is that my children are adults. They are capable of taking responsibility when it’s needed, and they love us enough to be available all the time.
Sister doesn’t get it either, but that’s okay. It’s her birthday. Also send birthday wishes to miz lizzy and ibepiglet.
As it happens, I’ve already told Husband that, if he really can’t shape up and stop making me nuts, I have a solution. I will sell the house (which is half his), put him in a home, and go live somewhere else myself. He pretends he doesn’t hear that, but it is sufficient for now. I don’t want to do that; it would be a last resort.
Gloria was still talking when the machine timed out. But I did find the message pretty funny.
