Cosmic Tagged Me

Sun., July 3, 11:36 AM

Cosmic tagged me, so I now get to list 5 things that society in general apparently enjoys or tolerates but that I just don't get. Only 5, huh? Well, these are general rants, as opposed to a couple of personal ones I have in the pipe.

  1. Mental laziness – the inability or unwillingness to think beyond the results of one’s next action.
    It is the cause of some really stupid behaviors.
    • Rudesness
      Why is it so difficult to try to be nice instead of nasty? Not just the mindless “have a nice day,” but listening (both sides of the counter). People don’t seem to realize that making life a little more pleasant for someone else bounces back.
    • “Damage control” – the necessity of fixing a problem because someone didn’t think aheard.
    • Neglecting to teach children what they need to know
      Y’know, the arguments where parents blame teachers and teachers blame parents, while the kids are the ones to suffer.
  2. Rap.
    I can’t even call it music. Music is patterned sound, but I hear no pattern. What lyrics are even comprehensible seem to be insults.
  3. Toys.
    Why does everything have to be a toy? Telephones have music players and games and internet access. All I want is to place a call.

    I answered a survey recently that asked whether I wanted a glucose monitor with an MP3 player and telephone. No, I do not need music or a full-color display. All I need is to be able to analyze a drop of blood and a display that’s big enough to see.

  4. The big fuss made over celebrities.
    Most of the time I don’t care who’s wearing what designed by whom, or who is sleeping with whom. It’s even worse when the icon is a manufactured celebrity. Making celebrities out of nobodies mostly manufactures jobs for publicity people. Synthetic news about synthetic people. Is there nothing real going on in the world?
  5. “Letting it all hang out.”
    The sense of modesty seems to be forever gone, if you look at the young females walking around with short tops (no bra, of course) and low-riding pants. (I don’t want to see your belly!) But even half-naked girls don’t offend me as much as the overabundance of ads for erectile dysfunction. viagra, cialis, enzyte. (If you believe the TV ads, they seem to be tooth-whiteners.) This is WTMI – the radio station with Way Too Much Information.

    Those ads always remind me of a story my mother told me, about twenty years ago, when those drugs were still in the research phase. She was pretty sharp up until her last illness, and she always liked a good story. She used to watch Phil Donahue, even when she didn’t agree with him, because she had to know “what’s going on.” I’ll tell the story just as she told it.

    Donahue says they’re working on a new drug to help men produce an erection. The only problem is that sometimes it doesn’t go down, and then they have to get a doctor’s assistance. (At that point she interjected, “that much is true. Now here’s the story.”)

    It seems that one weekend a man was using this new drug, and he got stuck. He needed a doctor, and no one was around or on call. He was very uncomfortable, and finally he went into a drugstore, where he asked the woman for the pharmacist.

    “I’m the pharmacist,” she said. But the man told her he needed to see a male pharmacist.

    “I don’t know what to tell you,” she said, “my sister and I own the shop, and we are the only pharmacists. Our work is just as good as a man’s.”

    The man was desperate. He opened his coat for her to see his problem and asked, “What can you give me for this?” The shocked pharmacist said, “Wait, I’ll have to ask my sister.”

    She went into the back room, conferred with her sister, and came out again. “How about if we give you $500 and the store?”

    Mom, you had no idea it would come to this! Cosmic, did you know?

    I won't tag anyone else. If you'd like to do this one, be my guest.



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