Merry What???
Wed., December 28, 11:39 AM
Well, I’ve held back many opinions for a month or two, and it’s surely time for me to start offending people again. As I’ve said in the past, if it bothers you, just click that little X in the upper right-hand corner.
Let me begin by saying I’m not the least bit offended by being wished a merry Christmas, unless it’s someone who knows me really well. I don’t mind happy holiday either; as it happens, the Hebrew chag sameach translates as just that. I accept all good wishes in the spirit in which they are given. However, I object to dumbing down a greeting so that you don’t have to think about the person you’re addressing.
I’m recounting something that really happened, strange as it will seem. Maybe you remember being totally embarrassed by something your parents did in public when you were a teenager. That’s the way I felt, though this was not a parent. As a matter of fact, I think my mother would have known better.
I was holiday shopping with a woman of my own age and background. As we went to check out, she wished the black cashier a happy Kwanza. Now, I wouldn’t have done that; you don’t assume someone’s religious affiliation just because of the way they look. I didn’t say anything, because I also think it's not right to hush another adult.
I was right; the cashier didn’t know what she was talking about. Okay, never mind, drop it! Not this woman; she proceeded to tell clerk everything she knew about Kwanza, and you can be sure she knew everything.
I couldn’t think of how to end the conversation without making the situtation worse. I felt bad for the poor clerk, who seemed to feel she must listen politely, even though she obviously had no interest in the subject. I was mightily embarrassed for this white woman, who felt she was doing “the right thing” by educating the clerk. Never underestimate the frustration of a woman who wanted to be a teacher; she will teach you whether you want it or not. All this was taking place, of course, in the middle of a very busy store.
Good manners – so out of fashion these days – are about making people comfortable. Yes, there are things to say when you don’t know what to say, like “I’m sorry for your loss.” But use the brain God gave you; it should not be too much trouble to think before you talk.
Speaking of good manners, incidentally, I received a handwritten thank you note from a young girl this week. Obviously, there’s a mother who’s teaching her kids right.
I was going to throw an automatic greeting at you, but I won’t. I’m very happy to hear that you had a happy Christmas with your families – whether biological relatives or the friends who adopt you. And I’m wishing the best of everything in 2006.
