Scream
Fri., May 5, 11:04 AM
I didn’t have to report for jury duty today – again. Despite having been a registered voter at the same address for more than thirty-five years, I have never served as a juror. (Husband served twice.) I’ve always wanted to do it.
About twenty-five years ago, I was called for the first time, and I really couldn’t do it. I was working for Red Cross Blood Services then, and there was only one of me. The rest of the department had backup, the secretary did not. So my boss wrote a letter, and I was excused. Since then, I have been notified several times, but the procedure is updated. You call the court the evening before to find out whether you’ll be needed. Never. Next year, when I am notified again – and I’m sure I will be – I will advise them that I can’t drive in the dark and probably will be excused forever. Just one more thing that I was always going to do.
In looking for something else, I found the following, which was dated about a year before I even signed up for D’land. It was entitled “Aaaagh!” I wrote it because I didn’t quite believe it.
You know, I can’t stand it. Maybe it just isn’t my day, but I can’t stand it!
It’s my house (supposedly). I get up early, and I’m not bothering anyone. I take out the garbage, feed the cats, pick up the newspaper. After breakfast, you’d think I could use my computer.
So I log on. Everything is going well, until suddenly I’ve lost the connection. I try to reconnect – no dial tone. I listen to the cordless – sounds like I’m still on. My caller ID says the line is still engaged.
No one else is awake, so no one picked up the phone. Even the cat is asleep, so I know he didn’t knock down the one in the other room.
I reboot – no change in the caller ID light. I disconnect the phone wires from the computer – no change. I pick up the cordless again to check for a dial tone, and I hear a conversation. Sounds like a couple of guys on the radio. How can I be hearing the radio on my phone?
I don’t believe it, and neither will anyone else. I bring the cordless into U.D.’s room) and ask her to listen. “It’s Daddy’s radio,” she says.
It can’t be – can it? I don’t hear him or his radio, so I open his door. Sure enough, he’s listening to the radio, and it’s the same station I’m hearing on my phone. He turns down the radio and my phone is quiet. I also notice that he has a new phone set up next to the radio. Last time I looked, he had an old phone in his room that he kept unplugged.
“Your phone is off the hook,” I tell him. “I didn’t do anything…” he picks up his phone, and now there’s a dial tone. So I go back to my computer and login again.
I’m not on for five minutes when I lose the connection again. This doesn’t happen with Worldnet as a rule, which is why I use it. I go back to Husband. “I didn’t do anything…” “I don’t know,” I say, “your phone must have gone off hook. You’ll have to find a different place to set it up.” Back to the computer, where I finish in peace.
I get ready to shower. Husband is in the bathroom. I can’t figure out how he’s making that noise – he says he’s doing the cat box. I go do something else, make a doctor’s appointment for him, and wait. By the time he gets out of the bathroom, I’ve almost forgotten why I wanted to get in there.
Shut down the computer and go shower. Start to do the grooming things – and my shaver battery runs out. Figure twenty-four hours before I can finish that.
I turn on the computer to make a new list of Husband’s medications for the doctor, and the phone rings. M.D. has car trouble; can she borrow mine for today, and can I take hers to the garage? Oh well. By the time I finish that, I’ve forgotten to put the medications back in the cabinet.
Y’see, this is nothing new. I’ve always been crazy.
