Diet...And Its Results
Mon., July 31, 11:35 AM
Alert: I have to give credit where credit is due. After my complaint about Diaryland calling me as spam, I actually got kicked out of someone’s comments as well. I was really irked, and I e-mailed Andrew. I didn’t get nasty; mainly I said, would you kindly explain? To my surprise, I received an answer, saying that the filters aren’t perfect [oh,really?] and asking for details. I can’t say it’s all fixed, but I can get into comments again. As I say, credit where it’s due; someone actually took the time to answer.
Any gentlemen who are reading may leave now, as they may not be interested in “girl stuff,” y'know, diets and fashion… Awhile back I wrote about trying to lose weight using NutriSystem. I have stopped using the prepared meals, but I'm still in the mindset. NutriSystem did great things for me. I lost about 10 per cent of my old body weight. Even though I can’t say I’ve had a surge of energy, which is why I did it in the first place, I am very much encouraged by the other results.
It’s nice to put on outfits that were a little tight and discover that now they’re a little loose. It’s wonderful to find that old pair of jeans that I was going to discard; I couldn’t get them on before, but they fit me now. After I left my last permanent job – some thirteen years ago – I had almost no occasion to dress up for work. By the time I started working for Bosslawyer, I had even stopped caring. I’d wear any old shmatte, as long as it covered me.
While we were in Boston, Ms. P., my future daughter-in-law, took me dress shopping. I was glad to have some guidance, because suddenly I’m in very unfamiliar territory. I’ve never been mother of the groom. I wasn’t even mother of the bride, since M.D. and her husband eloped; at the party we gave upon their return, no one dressed up but me. So it’s been a very long time since I’ve gone shopping for a dressy dress.
Meanwhile, I don’t understand dress sizes. Or maybe I should say I understand them less than ever, since women’s dress sizes have always been mysterious. But now, when I see a woman whom I would consider a size ten (such as I wore back in the day), it turns out she’s wearing a four. You couldn’t even buy those when I was in college; they had to be specially made.
The wedding is in November, and my son had mentioned something about fall colors. Okay, that makes sense; I wouldn’t want to see pastels in an autumn wedding. A dark green, I thought – simple, understated, in keeping with the general design. Maybe a midnight blue, if the right one turned up. I don’t know; I can’t even imagine what might be available.
Ms. P. asked if I were up to a longish ride. She would like to take me to the store where her mother had chosen a gown. No problem for me, as long as I don’t have to drive. And off we went to Canton, Massachusetts – did you know there was a Canton? – to a little shop called A Touch of Klass. They specialize in dressing the mothers.
I explained my concerns to the saleswoman, and she pulled out a blue-green number with silvery trim. It was very elegant, rather like something out of “Thoroughly Modern Millie.” But I had my doubts. Surely it was too small. “Oh, no,” she said, “this is a magic dress.”
Into the dressing room I went, stripped down to my undies, and climbed into this dress. The saleswoman tugged down the slip and, son of a gun, it was gorgeous. The woman was talking about silver shoes and jewelry and I was almost agreeing, except…it was a little snug in the tummy. Sure, you can control that, but I long ago gave up on foundation garments. Even when I was underweight, I was never skinny. There’s that song from “South Pacific” – “…she’s broad where a broad should be bro-o-o-oad…”
So we hung the dress there, and I tried on some others while the saleswoman went to find the next size up. It wouldn’t be the same color, but we could get a better idea about the size. All of these dresses were lovely, very formal and very elaborate. I could feel my whole mindset changing.
The next size larger was a sort of brown – not what I had imagined at all – but we were just looking at size, right? It was perfect! The color is called paprika, but it’s not red or orange. Its shifting shades will go well with gold, and I pulled a gold locket out of my purse to try it. (I was wearing my gold chai, of course, and that would be lovely with it too.) I shall be so elegant no one will recognize me.
Magic, right? You don’t know the half of it. Ms. P. pulled out a dress like the one her mother had ordered, so that we could see how they go together. Excellent. Different styles, different colors, yet they blend. As a matter of fact, Ms. L. had thought I might like that dress.
I haven’t been this excited about dressing up since I don’t know when. I’ve got the locket(s), got the right earrings, as well as any other necessary jewelry. I shall find gold shoes and a small gold purse.
I checked out a new line of makeup, only to find that it would cost me about a hundred dollars to get what they recommend. Me, the woman who still uses baby lotion as a moisturizer? I would rather pay a quarter of that and give the rest to charity. So I’m looking at cosmetics again, as I haven’t done for a couple of years. Once again, I’ll be Painting My Face. Let’s see, not the blue and gray eye makeup I was choosing as my hair got gray; the browns I wore years ago. A different lipstick, I think. May I repeat, vanity is a survival trait.
Now, if I can just find some nice ribbon to dress up Husband’s wheelchair…
