Compulsive? Depressed? Or Just Anemic?
Thu., February 21, 08:58 AM
Back in the day, they told us that baby care should be on a schedule. I thought that was unrealistic; babies can’t tell time anyway. What I did was build a routine around what had to be done. You have to take care of the baby. You have to take care of the mother. You fill in other tasks to the best of your ability. As you might imagine, scrubbing floors and vacuuming was pretty low on the list.
Some tasks are tied to others, like putting on your socks before you put on your shoes. So, for example, I nursed the baby when I woke up, before my shower. (1) Mothers almost always have plenty of milk after sleeping, and (2) a well-fed baby will not start screaming when mother disappears for twenty minutes or so.
Whatever. Like a project manager, I have certain tasks that I must complete, and I set myself routines in order to do them. I try to write them down, in case someone else might have to do it. I get up every morning, start a pot of coffee, and thaw a large savory bagel. I try to remember to put out my own meds before I forget… I like routine because there are days when it carries me through without having to think.
But I am caring for someone who really is compulsive. If I were to bring him his medications after his meals instead of before, he would probably take them, but he would be upset. Orange juice (no other kind) with his first pills; coffee with his lunch; root beer with his evening pills and supper; iced tea with his bedtime pills (enough to last all night). “That’s the way I like it.” The older he gets, the less he tolerates change. Generally, I can deal with it.
But I’ve been dragging a bit. This results from a combination of causes, I’m sure, including such things as being housebound by the weather and having had more trouble with my nosebleeds. (I took some advice from my brother, who also carries this hereditary trait, but the results have been — mixed, to say the least.) Talking with a doctor won’t help, and I know this because I talk with them so often. First they will want to prescribe iron tonics — and I think I have mentioned what that does — and then they will want to prescribe something for my “depression.” Whether or not I’m depressed, I already take more drugs than I want.
Being able to send Husband to day care three days a week is very helpful, because I distract myself enough without his help. I can’t even construct a post. When I interrupt my routine, I forget what I was doing. Maybe I’m depending on the routine too much.
I watched the moon come up last evening, and I pointed it out to U.D. I got up in the middle of the night and looked at how it lit up my deck and reflected off my sink. Lovely. But I slept through the eclipse, which is about par for the course. I begin to think that compulsiveness is contagious.
