I Should Be Ashamed...
Sun., May 17, 01:45 PM
…but I don’t think I am. I plan on leaving a message for the medical examiner: cause of death is exasperation.
Generally, I phone my elderly friend Gloria a few days after I send her anything. I like to be sure she got the letter or package, and it makes a good reason to be checking up on her. By the time I finished talking with her, I was glad I only have Husband to deal with on a regular basis. I am definitely too old for this game!
I had sent her some pictures of my granddaughter, since I know she enjoys those. I should have sent just one. Two pictures with different hats, so she thought they were two different kids. I included a picture of the two cousins — Ms. P.’s sister-in-law had a daughter about six weeks after Lila was born — being held by Ms. L., the other grandmother. I carefully labeled it with the girls’ names under the appropriate parts of the picture, and I added “with Granny L.” Despite my captions Gloria commented, “You look wonderful!” “Not me!” I told her, “I wrote on it!” Well, she didn’t know Ms. L., so she assumed it was me. I should have ended the conversation right there. That was the easy part.
She was very surprised to see the excerpt about her I had found on the ’net. She is very sure it is about her, because it is such an uncommon name (not nearly as uncommon as she thinks, ahem); but she has absolutely no recollection of the incident. She doesn’t recognize the boy’s name, so maybe he was smart enough not to identify himself. Again, I could have ended it there. But she was going on about how she really is losing it and will have to go into a nursing home, all of which we have been over and over. The longer she waits, the harder it gets.
I don’t want to talk about that, and I try to steer her away. She has ignored my suggestions or argued why they wouldn’t work for nearly twenty years; why would this time be different? She has news questions that she saved up for me, and sometimes I google the answers while we talk, which only makes me even more “brilliant” than she already thought I was. I explained what fiber optics are. I told her about qwerty keyboards because she is sure she could never use a computer… But, she says, of course her eyes are so bad she still couldn’t use it. This is the thread of everything we discuss; I tell her something and she has three excuses why it cannot possibly work. By this time I am really getting tired, but I haven’t quite lost it — yet. She apologizes for costing me all this money for the call, and I just say I have rollover minutes, but she has never watched an AT&T Mobile commercial.
She starts up on politics and I explained that first, Iraq was not the source of the 9-11 attack, and second, there never were any weapons of mass destruction. “I didn’t know that.” She listens to all these ranters on the radio with never any contrasting views and believes everything they say. And yet, this conversation has not reached its worst level. (As judgmental as I am, I still try to be gentle with her, unless force is required.)
I think I lost it when she was telling me something about some negligent physician, and I said that was not good practice, and her comment was, “well, in this neighborhood…” And once more I said she shouldn’t be in that neighborhood, just as I told her, and now — so help me — her excuse is that she doesn’t have the strength to move. And she still hasn’t signed her will… I have been hearing that one for more than a year; her friend with Power of Attorney brought her to a lawyer to write the will, but now she is too feeble to go and sign it. And “Stevie is in the hospital.” I told her Steve does not have to be present when she signs the will. (It is probably better if he is not present.) As I mentioned to her before, she can phone the lawyer’s office and ask him to bring it to her. Our attorney brought papers for Husband to sign; he also brought a second person to witness the signature. But she doesn’t want the lawyer to see her messy apartment… And I snapped, “That is B.S.!” and I hung up.
I know, I should not have done that. I found myself being happy that Husband does not argue that way, not to mention being most grateful for U.D. to run interference for me when necessary. In three weeks it will be Gloria’s birthday, and I will send her a package just as I have done for years and years. She may well have forgotten everything I said. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Thank you for letting me vent. Please, let me die before I get that way.
