Any Wonder I'm Fermisht?
Thu., October 15, 03:39 PM
I am doing this now before the events become too muddled in my brain. There is serious idiocy going on somewhere in our lives.
Before this week. Many of you know that my Husband is now in a nursing home; he is ill, hard to care for, and in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.
Last week. I was under the weather myself last week. After posting that I felt “crappy,” I proceeded to sleep more than anything else for two days. If I had an hour when I felt a little better, I would have something to eat, read my e-mail, and perhaps post something I had in the pipeline.
On Saturday I was aware that U.D. had missed a call from Husband (his private phone) and that there was no answer when she called back. When she finally reached him, he told her he had been in the hospital.
What??? He was in the hospital, and no one called his wife? He was in the hospital, and no one phoned the person with Power of Attorney? (That happens to be our Son.) On Sunday both U.D. and Son (all the way from Boston) descended upon the nursing home, within minutes of each other.
Husband was groggy (sedated?) and could not offer any information. U.D. asked the staff to remove the too-tight bandages on his arm; there was some edema that they both saw, and you could tell he had been on I-V for some time. The nurse was appalled, as well she should be, that no one had phoned. There was no explanation in his file; there was a note that he had returned but no mention of why he had been gone.
For four days we have been waiting for someone to phone. I have been considering going there and just planting myself in his room until I get some answers. But there were some things I have to do today.
On one of the days when I was sick, I had a phone call from the attorney’s office, asking me to follow up on a list of requests from the paralegal. What bothered me most is that I was fairly sure I had already given her that material, which meant sorting through the box of papers she returned to me. I looked at the cover letters I had sent; indeed, several documents were itemized. There was no help for it. I had to do it, and by yesterday afternoon I had forced myself to assemble the available documents and write a cover memo to accompany them.
Today. Several factors went into my thoughts for today. It’s chilly, and a nor’easter is forecast. I need to drop off that legal stuff. I’m on my own for meals because the U.D. will be caring for her GC during his hospitalization and recovery. And I had better stop at the bank… I realize that the only time I had been out since I was sick was to pick up prescriptions, and I’ve got another one waiting. I had to get going before the weather got bad.
The phone rang. The caller (it was Husband) started to identify himself, and I told him he didn’t have to tell me because I have caller ID. Big laugh; he’s in a good mood — and talkative. He tells me that he was in the hospital for twenty-four hours and he doesn’t know why. He sat “in a corner” all by himself. He was brought in by ambulance, and next day they took him back.
I have been reminding Son and U.D. that we have to get stories straight; we know that someone had drawn blood and probably inserted an I-V. Furthermore, Son finally reached the doctor who was on call that night. The doctor saw symptoms that worried him (cardiac patient, remember) and sent the patient for tests. Having seen the results of the tests, the doctor believes the patient got the care he needed. (It was a “gaffe” not to have notified us.)
All of that, of course, is precisely why we should have been notified immediately. Husband does not remember; he might not have understood even if they told him. But if I had known, I would have gone (complaining, yeah) to sit with him, because experience has taught me that he needs an advocate.
I promised Husband this morning that I will talk to the social worker, and I will. He phoned U.D. this afternoon to tell her that I shouldn’t pay any bills because nothing was authorized. (These flashes of clarity are great; they are, however, few and far between.) I had already decided that there is going to be some slow bill-paying, though. I’m considering requiring periodic reports; someone there is not doing her job.
Anyhow… By the time I got off the phone and dropped an e-mail report to the kids — and answered Husband’s second call — it had begun to rain. I drove first to the attorney, parked under a tree, and carried my box of “goodies” into the office. The paralegal who requested the papers last Friday is, um, on vacation this week, so we just left the box on her desk. I went to the bank, where there are also trees in the parking lot. It is definitely raining, but I have managed to stay fairly dry.
No such luck at the market, where I just get my pills and some fresh vegetables for my supper. By the time I came out, it was pouring. I just drove straight into the garage when I got home, and I ain’t goin’ out no more for the next three days. Nor’easter!
